& to night / lap top crash es
& i'm caught be tween
void & verge / cusp of wave
& i'm wonder ing / just how much
shit i lost / & thank who ever / we
have so many electronics in the house
& i sit down / here / @ the kids comp
& wonder about bastards that send
virus's in to my mail box
damn
but these are minor errors / ones
that can be fixed / replace / learned
it's the errors of the heart / mind / body / soul
that
i can't get over / can't even get under
& i am afraid / of blurred memory / of for got ten
yesterday / i can't remember the day / a gain
week passes / & these words / look strange
& i too / look strange / not the face i remember
& down stairs / beat of base / rises / thud thud
what are these nite time noises / where is my quiet
& he has / is home again / pass ing / we pass / here
to gether / a part / a lone / / come sleep with me
& he holds me / rest less /
& some how / this morn ing / when i woke up
impossib lee / sun shone / part ing white clouds
pull ing blue sky with / & i could not sleep
for children's voices / thump of morn ing /
school's in / & fights in the bath room / &
tostle of heel & cheek / lunches to be made
water runs / feet pound down the stairs / &
this day starts like this / every day now /
i'm think ing / season moves too fast / & soon
chill of leaf less trees / & the ground goes in to
rest / yes i'm rest ing now / soon the snow will fly
& i'm all ready there / i've been to the cold
/ st.ill shaking
so i hold hope / / one small dream of blue sky
temperate wind / / white white / my skin pales
next to you / / & i wonder if i could breathe salt
air / would it change me / / & i dream of ocean's
edge / feet sink / suck ing in to sand / & each wave
/ oh mightee wave / rolls over / pulls / me / pulls
yes / i am wait ing for spring time /
summer isn't even over
& i just want to tell you i'm glad you made me
leave / & i am not angry / only wonder ing / why
i do the things i do / & why crazy attracts crazy
yeah / i was just wonder ing / /
& you / oh beauty of my nite thots / where have you been
when i wake up / late nite / think ing / some how / in this moment
this thot is shared / of wonder ing what / & where / & how you are
in this world / /
& i am not really a lone / in this / my world of / surround ed
by / all / who come / & go a gain / & i miss my friends / /
& yet / it is
you / i wish to be surround ed by / warmth of / full sum of parts / / heart
on heart / / but / you will never hold me / / it's ask ing too much
i know / demand ing / i know / i know / i know / / but can't you
see /
& you / radiance / brown skin / always against blue
/ i wish to see your eyes / a quick peek in side / i'm wonder ing
what's with in / un der words / bands of lite / show me / i want
to see
& i realize / i can't / for these are lessons in frustration / / .
emancipation
of heart / no / i'm too busy restrain ing / it / can't let it go right now
& off it runs/ like the ginger bread boy / except mine is blue
often found frozen in snow banks / wait ing / wait ing / i wait
for revival / / / & i think / there is no thing tangible / / foundations
with out bottoms / / fall ing a gain / /
& i realize / / i can't / restrain / there is no control in this late
hour
& so you be come the fire / in my / oh brain is /
damn i'm tumbling a gain / /
i woke up / i didn't know where i was
my feet cool / a breeze almost warm
autumn morn ing / & i pull ed them
un der the blanket with the rest of me
i was a lone / & it occured / just a re collection
to me / i wasn't really here / just a minor / major
shadow / like ness of a mid nite cigarette / 3 am
star lite / i was / bare lee perceivable / even the mirror
refused to show more / than / black en ed out sockets
where my eyes used to be / a black scribble a cross
all ways / a cross / holy crucifixion / of heart
i too / am tired of dying
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