so today is international women's day
i went to 5 feminist minutes / a yearly event
put on by the local women's center
of course i was late / i was just putting dinner on
the table when it started at 7 / i finally got out of
the house @ 8 / /
the problem with being late is there might not be a spot left
how it works is like this / there is a giant sign up sheet @ the
door / first come / first served / you can do what ever you like
to "proclaim" feminism / sing a song / proclaim 5 minutes of silence
dance sing comedy routine / what ever you like
/ but you only get five minutes / if you
go over the five minutes / they pull you off stage with a giant
hoop on a stick / vaudevillian (sp?) style / a real hoot /
when i arrived i asked the girl sitting at the sign up sheet
if there were any spaces left / she said / one space / there is
someone else in there / but she said if some one else really wants
the spot let them have it / so / the long & short of it
i took the spot / last spot of the night / signed up as
steve jones / /
i immediately went
into the throws of stage fright / which i rarly suffer from
my heart pounding & my hands shaking / & the really weird thing
is / there really wasn't any one there i knew / a few aquaintences
but not one of my buddies to be seen in the crowd / other than
the staff / for some reason i became totally stressed out / it
probably had to do with the fact that the last act up is what people
take home with them / it had to be good / & i didn't know if the piece
i brought was apropo for the last spot / (last year i read erotica & it
went over extremely well) / but this year /
damn damn damn ( i search for the words to describe my work / my
mind set / & there are none ? / typical ) i don't even under stand
myself / damn damn damn
*back to 5 feminist moments
a couple performers from the end / they announced the last readers
when the mc announced steve jones would be up last / a murmer went
through the crowd / a man ? / taking the last spot of the night @
a feminist event / / a few people got up & left / but the room was
still brimming with women / young & old / /
finally they announced me / i got up on stage / said hi i'm steve jones
& read my most recent piece / cause that's the only piece i ever really love
what i've just written / / & damn / as soon as i started to read / i became
myself / & read / just read / came in @ the five minute mark almost exactly
didn't get hauled off the stage / & really loved how the piece worked / i
became my confident self / & came off feeling sweet / a big round of applause
the best part was / all the compliments from everyone after
they loved me / / loved the work
it made me high
1 comment:
OK no fair that I don't get to know what you read! Somehow it seems like a totally YOU thing to do - to speak at a feminist thing as Steve.
No way I could do a public reading like that.
As for J, and the right thing to say - there is no right thing hon. Nothing in the world that will accomplish what you want - nothing to take away his pain or bring back his daughter. Trust me, I understand. I found out by accident on the net ( as you did I think) and before I'd read the first news story, I was praying that it wasnt true, wasn't real, wasn't JON's family.
When I found out it was, I cried - poor Scotty thought I was insane and couldn't figure out what the fuck was wrong with me. I tried to tell him, all he caught was "Alexa" only he thought I said "Alexis" (our daughter that died) and thought even more that I'd lost it. Anyway, I spent the night puking my guts out and bawling. I still can't get away from the mental image of it - the struggle is the worst, and him finding her. . .
no, nothing can fix any of that. Even we, poets artists and wrangler of words, cannot fix it the way our poet hearts wish we could. Just let him know you love him and care - that's what he'll remember, not the words, just the love.
Love ya
~E
Post a Comment