there is no anger
no joy / no day
only night
waiting for decadence to settle in
but nothing excites / the world is a blah
of
gray
she reads poe
dreams black raven
curious dreams / make no sense
st.ill there are no answers
to day a walk through the forest
there is no snow / but one million
piles of dog shit to be dodged /
there is a fort in the forest
there are giant moss covered rocks
breaking down / time even breaks granite
they look like eggs / those rocks jut
& poke out of the ground / a childs
climbing delight
walk around / empty of heart
do you know how much i miss you
can't articulate the gaping hole
this derisive feeling of denial
hold on / to what i wish for
there can be no lies
the rings on my fingers / flush against
fat / no thin / thin / fingers are thin
rings cut their own hole in my hands
rings symbolize / me / spinning in circles
never getting to the end of things
never finishing /
no completion
my daughter buys me sweet perfume
for xmas / the smell of it takes me
back to gay night clubs in victoria
cross dresser / boy toy / punk rock
andro / the look / boy? girl?
& drinks & sweet perfume & chewing gum
& mda
or da for short
& the fags all did poppers / rush
the baths / all the boys went to the baths
cause that's where all the nasty shit happened
girls were only allowed to view so much
& then / cut off / /
funny where a smell can take a person
apples / the smell reminds me of apples
a lost trip through eatons in vancouver centre
where / the hard sell / shiney / gold / all glitter
is not / oh shiney / silver / perhaps all glitter is
ribbons / & giant perfume bottles / display model only
i think i need to get out / do some thing / see some thing
breathe
just breathe / remember to talk to people //
i'm still waiting for spring
still waiting for a change in the day
june / ah the finest hour of june / or was it may
oh the maerri monthe of mae
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