Tuesday, February 22, 2005

the colour of hair

these days there are no words left to say
awkward phrases / / / a give a shit attitude

turned off / down / / i spiral in to my mind

lost / damn unpleasant place to be / / so alone
in side my head


now the heart is a nother matter all to gether / now


i have nothing left to say .

period / / certain less i let words flow to key board
skip words / for get who i am / / just for this moment
let me / / i float with thoughts of / oh the night is cold

a full moon / & raven / today / for the first time in months
there he is / standing on the compost box / / looking for bits
of bread / i'm sure he's looking for some thing a bit more substantial
like the cat / the cat kills / raven kills too / / oh those mice
no sooner do i bow my head down to grab the compost bucket & stand back up

he is gone / in to the sky / raven circles once / & then / a crow / one crow
drops / straight down / dive bombs / goes for raven / & the chase is on


it's the first time i've seen raven since last summer / / on the full moon
one wonder's / is this a sign? / or do i let it go / with the wind / & winter

& evening tumbles in to night falls in to
it's black out side / stars mere specks of cold

moon lights up the snow


& are you crazy ? i can't for get about you / the days lapse
& i for got to book a flight / to get out of town / get to the city
& i'm trying to make a connection / / but i can't / get it to gether
to get it to gether / / /




what is there to say @ a time like this

leslie returns a book today
that i don't remember loaning
her / just a faint conversation about fred wah
who wrote the book / about growing up with a white mom &
a chinese dad in nelson




& i'm wondering if i could grow up in a town like this
& write a book / & people would buy it / & i would for get
that i wrote it / i never wrote the book @ all / but here i
am famous / in a town / who's name i can't remember / vague
memories of brown leaf autums & the smell of burning leaves raked in
giant piles / & the colour orange of bright pumpkins / & thanks giving
turkeys & pilgrims / / all american style / & elementary school cut outs
brown paper / & colour in the fruit / apples are red /


& what are the colours of childhood / & does day dreaming count as
stupidity / & ink blot tests are given to the pale red headed girl
who stares out the window @ the green lawn & the giant cedars
limbs a slight movement against the wind / / a girl who hears water
rushing against rock in the creek bed / yes / this girl who never pays
attention / let's stick her in a corner / with no distractions / & tell
us your dreams / / & i dreamed my dad dumped a truckload of xmas cookies
over the bank by the neighbours house / & these are the dreams of children
i dreamed my father died / & did you know / your girl bites her nails
blood / red / is the colour of childhood
the colour of humiliation
the colour of shame
the colour of my hair

No comments: