tags of time - january 4 / 05

last lee

what is this confusion you plant upon
my head
my heart


he art



& a new year rolls in - last lee first lee
the lowt of wynter

falls past / rushes throught to the other side of the sun




these are not beautiful words / these are the words of confusion
of

i think i might be normalized again

no no / just learning to live with the pain

of a heart complete lee shattered / long sad story
of a furrowed brow





nebulous @ best
a bit of a star story @ worst

you see / there was a woman who reached for
put her hand out to the stars / / instead

she reached in to the black hole of hell
the abyss of time moving too quick lee / /

i wait for you

each day she misses a bit more / / each nite
sleep less ness steels black against the sky
cold stars / january bitter / / remember last january
do you remember last january ? ?

standing in the cold / / waiting for a kiss

breath be comes steam be comes the very breath i tasted

memory shutters down her back / skin prickles / she remembers
the smell of his neck / his hand around her throat tightening
as he kissed her deep.





a period indicates the end of a sentence.


this means my sentence is now over / / long ing / /
a period of time for which the heart was sentenced
an eternity / blue cold frozen hard / / a november heart
perhaps a january heart / /


al though - the heart has now been layed to rest

silenced / as it were / / al though some days it jerks
with an irregular beat / / an erratic pounding / a short burst
of /

i used to be alive


for the most part / it remains impartial / quiet /
slow pulse


trapped.





but that is inconsequential / & has nothing to do with the
current that refuses to run smooth lee through the brain circuits

dull ache of head / / each bit of body a live with pain
there is no other word

pain / i give you my







day lee she misses the day with her children
you never listen to me says the oldest
i always get in trouble

no no she has not been / i have not been
present / this is the story of the mother
who could not cope / / the woman who lived in
the big house on the hill / the woman with too many
children & not enough her self
nothing to give - - - -

she strikes a bargain with the devil
ah so classically cliche' / / trades her soul
trades her mind / for peace of mind