&
my eyes beat down ward
to below
the deep black earth
filled with hallucination of shadow
i could not for get this game
or the wall constructed in it's honour
what ? / you've used a wall as a metaphor
how undone / un just / so over done
a wall is simply a sign for : you can't come in
nothing radical about that
& these words laugh @ me again / @ her
the girl i write about / the one who can't forget
how life is connected to death / for she
walks thru the valley of / i will fear no evil
the sad girl / hair hangs in her eyes / black black
hair / / / not @ all like me / i've red hair / it's a
degree of seperation / / & the wind blows some thing
small against the glass door / who's there i wonder
& i press up tight against
my self / or may be it was that girl i pressed up
tight against / some how i became that girl / strange lee
strange that it was / / for my self / i have no memory
of tricks or pick up sticks / &
i don't remember being a junkie
but that girl . . . / oh / she remembers things like that
sharp sharp as a tack that girl / her memory serves a cutting dish
things i'd rather not think about / & i was thinking / it's sad
my auntie died / & i wished i could talk to my grandmother again
but was told it wasn't allowed / wishes were simply abstract
phrases we throw around / & besides / / there so many other things
to escape from
those one a m dark thots / they seem to creep up / you know
when the mind goes cyclical / & you can't can't
stop thinking about / what ever it is / / / sex / drugs /
money / work / your neighbour who just died in her back yard
from a heart attack / & how you'd like to fuck the blond who
lives down the corner / but her husband is your friend / & good
people don't do stuff like that / / / or do they ?
see / my girl / she knows about stuff like that / what it's like
to desire what you can't have / / envy / / greed / ah the perfection
of imperfection / she could tell you / what men really want / & what
some women do when no body is looking / / see / there's plenty of people
like that in the world / & me
i just want to write about them / i have no memories of my own
only / simply a girl i write about / a girl who under stands
what it means when streams of blue moon light flood in to the living
room / / she knows the sacred ness of april / & the pale green filigree
announcing the true arrival of / another spin around the sun
she doesn't see it that way tho / caught up in an abysmal darkness
she for ever walks with the dead / / remember / he saw dead people around
her / / / she has met jesus / & died a thousand live times / / over over
i kept waking up / & i for got i hadn't been reborn since yesterday /
hazy / dream @ best
my self / i struggle to remember the names of flowers / what we did
yesterday / eventually it comes / oh yes / freesia or was that forsythia
well / they were yellow & they were love lee / & they make me think of aunt
vickie / with her run down mansion / she lost the keys to her lincoln continental
in the bottom of a dumpster /
*
midnite comes late / / almost 2
& this is what i get for my trouble
no no / really / i think you should call steve
yeah / i think he said his name was steve jones
i thought he sounded like a woman / but fuck
what do i know / so many freaks these days
+
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