the purple one / & lost posts / fuck / purges go both way

---

& i'm think ing i may need to smoke one before i start
this / this / this / / ahem / writing? / story tell ing

please tell / me / / poet / tree


. . . (& off i go / to smoke & think /& hey / i just
realized / i can smoke right here / because). . .

he is / gone

again / off to hang with the purple one
& oh / what do i know of purple / except
my office is paint ed / that colour & there is
some thing / sooth ing / about / paint

of the right colour / & hector used to call this
the purple womb / but i think / that / the purple
one / may have out done me / this time & all ways



i say to big g / say high to him for me / & he won't
never does / i just want him to say hi / is that too much
& / oh / so unprofessional / / ahem


he says / oh / you're prolly gonna get a chance to meet
him soon / then you can say hi / your self / ah / fat chance
i think / i wonder / & who really cares /


fame can not / no matter how much you try / spill out
of your / their / hands / association / means


no thing / it's irrelevent / complete lee & total lee
irrelevent / al tho / i touch ed the purple one's guitar
once & fluff ed my hair in his dress ing room mirror

left / just a bit / of my / kootenay vibe / in his space

i wonder / did he know?




so the purple one / comes back
in to / our life / in a round about way /
& he doesn't even know it /

he's in my life
not the other way around / except / he has my man now
in stead of me having my man / full rapt attention / /

ah / give me peace / i'd try for quiet / but i don't think

it's gonna happen / /


so we settle on / seperation / time a part creates
space / of the desired kind / good space / / time to be
my own boss /


i like it / it being

be ing / be gin / / 2 wonder full words
4 amazing syllables



*coffee break * / smoke smoke smoke
not a cuppa joe in sight / / only / smoke
smoke smoke / time to really think



& so she loses / possible lee the best
writing done in a long time / some how
the window closed / every thing gone


except the top bit / which some how / ah
yes / think ing / always / think ing / / remember
this now


& it was such a love lee bit i wrote / about
time moving / i'm sure a great line or ten

some thing lost again / / & dare i ruminate
on what was lost / can i find it again / are the
words st.ill / in side / /



& out side / the snow / builds / gathers
in a slow / strange / way / creeps up / like
a good joint / or a / scarlet runner bean under
a hot july sun / except this is nt' july / & winter

falls wet / under a constant coat of grey / thick ness
of the season / & yet to day / one ray of sun fell
a cross / my face / blind lee / i turn ed my face up ward
take in those faint rays / of bare lee / not warm @ all


yet the bright ness / over whelm ed / pleasant
yellow / simplicity / of sun /



& i have not eaten / & i have not slipped in to tired /
morn ing a waits / all those that sleep / & all those
that / don't /

it comes / stealth / like the snow / this season of
i'm wait ing for spring now / where are those long er days

certain lee / i am convinced / of / more snow
up here / high on the mountain / just above /
the snow line / yes / there will be / more / of
this / season /

it does this every year / no surprise / not a trick at
all / / simply a mark of time




& yes / i lost all of the beautiful words / how my
little girl / is now a big girl / cusp ing on / woman hood
& how my big boy / is now a man / voice deep en ed /
facial hair / awk ward ness / in a body grow ing too fast

& how the 4 young est boys / st.ill so small / tender bodies
moving to ward / up up up / yes / we are getting tall er
now dear mother / we are big boys now / & they rough &
tumble & the house collapes under / drums & music & chatter
& of things / that go bump / in this
life

ah / i wish for quiet / like this / late night /



& for a moment / the earth be comes clean
tire marks disappear from the road / trees be come
out lined / not so tragic / snow fills the spaces

creates / a strange cozy ness / a comfort of sorts

& all ways / in the snow banks / where the snow
lumps up / i be come / dali / ah master of the hidden
faces / they look @ me / & i / @ them /

i've seen you be fore / i'm so certain / we've met
& every winter / it's like this / me / staring @
people i've never met / but i'm so cer tain / they
were / real / once /


faces are like that / probable / but not

& dare i / chain smoke / a third / in here
out of / the cold / /



& my office is thick with / smoke /
(big g would kill me)
but you won't tell will you / no / i won't
i never tell



secrets aren't secrets / if

every one knows / / / i'm count ing on
no one read ing / / the lost forum

oh black dog / / i bow down to thee

& to day / i feel light / might be
the coffee & the chock - oh - late

fuck ing hell /




why do i do it /

the first / second / third / rule is / /

don't drink coffee @ night / & the cops
roll by in their big white truck / mark ing
the road / spoil ing / the crisp ness of

this virgin moment / of an un mark ed road
in front of my house / /


time for kitty / to go to / sleep