/
& so i smoke pot
to recover / in to the night
this body twists pain / a constant reminder
i'm alive
spent the evening working on the play
(ran run running /i ran away from home
for a couple of days to do it)
falling / falling in to place / i'm starting to feel good about it
*note: it will pass
i gave you 2 flat round rocks
i like round rocks i said
what else of me did i have to give
certain lee not the love you de sired
don't ask me why i do the things i do
i don't have an answer
most days green is my favourite colour
& i for got folding in to you
i for got where i put my worry stone
& summer solstice moves closer / sun is almost high
still / it leans south in the sky / never quite high noon
some days i for get how to spell words / & i can't remember
what you look like / it scares me
& i am covered in sad ness / for my child
who gets sent home from school for fighting
is it me that's failing /
& i remember children with no mothers
up the street a raucous party rages
drunks high on saturday & beer
voices / shouts & laughter / echo the neighbourhood
big engine trucks / doors slamming shut / glass
guys with big mouths hoot holler / drunk alive
some where lost in the noise /
stereo roars base base base
& a cat screams / did a car hit it
death on the high way / vehicles roar out
& then you know / some one's car alarm goes off
honk honk honk honk honk honk
some one please / turn that fucking thing off
the neighbour hood doesn't wake up
they only
shift / cough / turn over & grab their pillows
an added layer to their dreams
i smoke another cigarette & listen
there is some thing warm about the sound of a big
party in the distance / rise & fall of voices / intimate incounters
formed by alcohol alliance / illicit drugs & secrets // a place
to get lost in the crowd ///
i'm glad i'm not there / i am not safe there any more
* yet i crave the party / body craves mind craves
moment of drunken abandon / when i become beautiful
to my self in the mirror
**oiy/the next morning thawarts any persuasion to drink
@ least on this eve / can't stand the pain /
remember :
there are no old junkies
& no old women alcoholics
i've seen people die from alcohol
& i wonder if i locked my car doors
will some one steal my 20 pounds of paper
in the box on the back seat
perhaps with any luck
they'll take all the garbage
& leave the paper
& i dream i should go to sleep /
/
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