Thursday, December 16, 2004

when my brain disolves

a day time right

because

the house
is st.ill
a mess

because i've turned into virgina & ms plath
& every other depressed / pained / poet shuttered up
in side my for get full brain /
contusion of confusion


this is me
& this is

the pain
is in my body

but how could i for get that ?

this hand ages / swollen red
pulses like my / brain on a head ache day


i can total lee un der stand
why some one - any one / would want to kill the pain


not me tho
i'm afraid of dying / st.ill



the body shall take it's own life
eventually


& my mouth always hungers for
starch / need to / want to / have to have
sugar


thick ness creep across the frontal lobe

what is this lobe / these thots / the ring ing

the RING ING in my ears

constant buzz of

it's never quiet / / broken ears to add to
broken body / a stomach that never / quite /
sits right

a torture of tired / / wish to spring up

get with it / act lively / / best foot for ward

never happens / / the day lee ritual of live ing

in cludes 3 pills @ bed time / / one oval / / two round

blue / pale bright blue / prescription blue

this head doesn't stop throbbbbbbb ing





what explains a life


& will i ever be free





ah yes un great full / be grate ful / try it
like it /



this "holiday" season / is depressing @ best
i feel angry that i'm expected to buy buy
many expensive things - - this expectation comes from the children
but it's the stores / the god damn fuking stores / corporate bull shit


i'm a fucking consumer & i don't like it one little bit

so there










my sin my rou / /













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