a day time right
because
the house
is st.ill
a mess
because i've turned into virgina & ms plath
& every other depressed / pained / poet shuttered up
in side my for get full brain /
contusion of confusion
this is me
& this is
the pain
is in my body
but how could i for get that ?
this hand ages / swollen red
pulses like my / brain on a head ache day
i can total lee un der stand
why some one - any one / would want to kill the pain
not me tho
i'm afraid of dying / st.ill
the body shall take it's own life
eventually
& my mouth always hungers for
starch / need to / want to / have to have
sugar
thick ness creep across the frontal lobe
what is this lobe / these thots / the ring ing
the RING ING in my ears
constant buzz of
it's never quiet / / broken ears to add to
broken body / a stomach that never / quite /
sits right
a torture of tired / / wish to spring up
get with it / act lively / / best foot for ward
never happens / / the day lee ritual of live ing
in cludes 3 pills @ bed time / / one oval / / two round
blue / pale bright blue / prescription blue
this head doesn't stop throbbbbbbb ing
what explains a life
& will i ever be free
ah yes un great full / be grate ful / try it
like it /
this "holiday" season / is depressing @ best
i feel angry that i'm expected to buy buy
many expensive things - - this expectation comes from the children
but it's the stores / the god damn fuking stores / corporate bull shit
i'm a fucking consumer & i don't like it one little bit
so there
my sin my rou / /
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