relax
in to no thing
or was that nuth ing
i want to split / that word
drop it / to the floor / like
so much spilt milk
& chest remains heavy from sik ness
ah / hate the sik ness /
hate these words / /
my own words bore me
so much so / my heart pounds
when i think / of novelty / of
how things can change in a matter
of minutes / how you / bound back
in to / sudden lee / you are back
& now
i'm frighten ed /
stomach churns for days now
arms ache / legs a burn / /
tired sets in / & my children
ask me @ bed time / when i'm going
to die / & when are grandma & grandpa
gonna die / & what will happen when the
world ends / & i have no answers to these
questions / i want to say / we'll all live for ever
but that would be a lie now / wouldn't it
& i say / we come out of the earth & we go
back in a gain / & i kiss every one on the cheek
good night i love you / & i go hide in my office
it's so hard to breathe
but these / this / that /
all pass es / will pass / gone
@ some point / every thing will
be come mean ing less / mean ing
less & how my arms hurt so / & how
it's best to hide words in lost journals
best to hide the pain / best
not to / / let the pain in my chest stop
me from moving
& tho i walk thru the valley of / oh you
know every thing about me is chronic
i shall fear / of course / only my self
as my hand reach es for / yet / yet a nother
cigarette / /
smoke it like it is / / confess to no thing
take no prison ers / only / my self
& sudden lee / garden is / be comes full
with new bloom / move in to june
ah / lust green june / juicy / the leaves
fat with spring rain
& to day / plump iris / yellow / white purple
open / de light my heart / i remember now
i remember this time of year / /
& i stop to grab my head / pull my hair up in
a messy bunch / close my eyes / it's this dizzy ness
of tired / i can't stand / it's my eyes / be hind a lazy
brain /
& i get my bangs cut real short
takes years off / or some thing
i don't know who i am any more
i thot i wasn't afraid / but it turns out
i am / i'm afraid of my self / / the dark
corner i've created / the dark corner i've
back ed my self in to
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