& so / these words elusive once again
smoke / try to remember an hour of insanity
when all sense leaves the head / & mind
goes out walking by its self / such an odd thing
& i close the door to my office & light up
don't tell any one / /
& lost some where between rapture &
a bad decision / some thing quite stupid
entered my head / took up residency / stayed
for just a while / short while / long enough
for me to realize / that yes in deed /
i lost my mind / but it's not so much
losing it / it's finding it again
you know / & i goes some thing like that
a day with blue sky & sun shine / & a day
where reality / surreality / meet & in the middle
sit i
only i / & i am grate ful for summer
it's all i can say / there is nothing else
i can share about that / / /
except the smell of flowers is going straight
in side my head / / & @ night / oh i can taste
that smell / & there are a lot of things i can't
remember / but to forget mock orange would
be criminal / embedded for my ever /
i'm horny for you / it's almost obliterated by
static / bad connection / can you hear
me now / & life be comes / is / an advertisement
for life
funny how that is / /
& geezuz it's been so long since i've heard you say
that / / & i think / may be i'm falling in love again
i think about / the faces of my children / & i can't
remember what you look like any more / & it's strange
how faces fade from my mind / so hard to recall
& how i struggle to remember
the names of all the flowers in the garden
& how they get stuck / part way in / part way out
those damn words / always getting stuck
& just where did you come from any ways
quiet consternation toward some thing purple
growing in the back garden / / ah spider wort
sitting on a bench
before the cross of jesus
it's always the cross / & some thing
about dark & light crash ing up against
some thing about / the way street lamps
cast shadows / & tho i walk thru the valley
of shadows / /
oh it fails to make sense @ this point
it was laughter / wine glasses / incense
the riff tiff of high summer / when the long
days settle warm / & i wish i could go back
to that room / her bed / knowing what i know now
but death is ruth less / & i am in love with hope
every nite eventually be comes day / it's the rise
& fall of the earth spinning / with us
scrambling / ants i say / moving bustling
6 billion people shitting every day / what's in
your stomach / & who are you going to fuck
pro creation pushes urge
all these deep questions / reason for my being
what's in your head?
& time tells me funny things / 1:24 & i should be
sleep ing / bed always feels best in the morning
& the girl child in all her 13 year old angst / cranky
bitchy / i hate my brothers/ big scowl / arms folded
across chest /
this is my daughter?
st.ill / she creeps in to my bed /
& shall i / will i / ever remember a dream
& really what is the difference between
a dream & a dream / waking & sleeping
am i part way there yet / /
& see i dreamed / i straddled you
on the bench / on the street / under
the cross of jesus /
& see i dreamed / you kissed me
i kissed you ? / it's vague @ best
it's what i crave / some thing about
wet tongue / wet pussy / your hand down
my pants / /
& see / i am full of shit / idle mind is
the devil's / & i've been idley thinking
i'd like hands on me / some thing to cleanse
/
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