it wasn't how he said it
as much as what he didn't say
a convoluted line / @ best
lost again / / trips to the hospital
up & about
comprehend the infinite
i don't know if i can
j'than writes such big thoughts
& makes me think / think / stare out in to the
black sky / stars / count 'em / & it's so fucking huge
where do i go / where do you go
when when
& so these thoughts never stop / friday / night /
saturday / oh & so these thoughts never stop / '''
these days run in to blurs of things to be done
the garden takes much time now / flower beds to be dug &
weeded / spring clean up / turn the soil / turn the compost
half rotted / remnants of last fall /
another season / with cold days
the worms are fat after a long winter sleep
some how the spring side of the sun / so different than
the autumn / a different tilt of the axis
i take sandwiches / chocolates & juice to the hospital
treats / there is nothing extra for an old man dying of brain cancer
with out the operation a couple of months @ best
with the operation maybe a couple of years
he opted for a couple of years
& the drs cut a round hole in the top of his head
now he can't walk / body forgets / /
is this worth it he asks me
they gave him a happy pill
& i for get what i'm doing
& don't you suppose we should all for get
the numbness of body & heart / the reason
we all came to be /
this person who looks @ you from the mirror
& they call these / lessons
a joke of sorts one supposes / one always supposing
for you see
it had every thing to do with the garden & all her
secrets / stashes of lovelies / flora of the sweetest
i got lost out there continually / siezed by a mania of sorts
the colour of grass / call of the weeds / / it started with
brown grass turning green / & oh / when the trees burst / & flowers
began to bud / certainly i remember / i remember / remembering
we crossed over to this side of the sun again / along that invisible
path / worn / worn / how many times around now?
& the weeds in the garden / already insidious / crawling through
the soil @ an alarming rate / tap roots & runners /
i turn the earth
with my shovel
father brings me some gardening gloves out of the trunk of his car
i lift & weed / make giant piles on the walk way / the lawn / all around
the garden bed
hours dissolve
*
1 comment:
*sigh* The hours I could put into my garden right now -- how do you find the time!? Oh, I'm such a liar, it isn't time I lack, but motivation to squat for hours. I've done a bit, and I suppose tomorrowon Scotty's day off we'll get serious! The man in the hospital? So stiking an image... I cringed, and still am. Damn miracles of modern technology? pffft.
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