heart crucifies soul

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& so she discovers heart
malcontent organ /


so certain it was handed to you


& again i walk with you in the valley of spring nights

& i don't know what happens when we hit this side of the sun










noise rises on spring air / car engines / the train
friday nite / & think of the people in the bars
drunk on design / inhibitions dropped to the floor
like cigarette ashes / nothing left in the morning
except grey dust



& down stairs the stereo pumps bass through the floor
pushing me further in to night call / crouched over
tense / bottom less / forget where i'm going / /
my silence forgotten / we drop away like black flies
in the rain / crawl away hoping our wings will dry

just one more time




& i recall a time much like this time
before the hardening / when death seemed an option
i gathered wings & died a thousand deaths /

remember / you held my hand /

i think about a day / much like this one
balmy april / my belly swolled / filled with / de sire
the sun lapsed in dirty windows / out side was just that

a place i couldn't get too / / i curled up against the bone
of your back / held on in anticipation of certain separation
sweet soap cover ed your skin / bitter against the back of my teeth


he bites her lip / breaks the skin
she smells like lavender / white skin so white
he takes her again / she gives to him
her self / / small offering of love / bursts @ the hips



& see time has a way of making people forget or
remember to forget / you know/ the body changes
heart becomes / is a fragile muscle /



& i've for gotten who i once was / /

some how i became your memory / & my
haven't we changed for the better dahling







i remember the narrow of your waist / fine boned
graceful / & the span of your back / long spine
coiled against / my stomach / wrapped tight around
the length of my soul /

i became your cross / crucifixion of spirit / ghost















*





what is this / unreason of mind / why heart
behaves as it does / with out compunction
a matter of love & death / a realization of
soul as indeterminable /















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but really it makes no sense /





head becomes heavy again /again / & some thing
about this odd april warm / almost full moon
doesn't bring frost / / ah but don't trust it
the way clouds billow black in the middle / & how
the moon makes clouds glow blue / these are simply tricks
to make me stop thinking /





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