*
it is in this time of solitude
when spring day rests in the quiet
hours of twilight
& so the days become dreamy / almost
& spring cusps / ah i think this is when i love
you most / /
out side the boys play street hockey
cars don't slow down / soon soon some one will cry
the 5 year old / maybe the screaming redhead / all of 7 now
5 brothers
& this mother worries / for these boys
& some where on this day of bright sun light walks
to town / i decided that i would only write in the light
a child cries / ((the five year old))
*see i told ya . . .
+
(bubble bursts) - & it becomes / damn it's night
time again / clock strikes midnight / & i sit
alone in my head
wonder why she doesn't fit in
& i realize i'm chronically stoned
oh fuck
just try ing to kill the pain
& to day i go to the holy smoke culture shop / go looking for
pot tincture / brings up the appetite / good for people
with cancer / / he hasn't been eating / one bottle of stout
@ dinner & a couple of drops of tincture under the tongue
it goes into the blood immediately / saves the lungs from smoke
after a chat with paul the owner / & a hit off a raucous looking
cigarette / i'm off to the compassion club / it is here i'm given
a small brown vial of drops
i didn't have the suggested amount of twenty bucks
& so offered to come back & the fellow says "oh never mind
the first one is free / see if it helps your friend"
we chat about the positive effects of pot on cancer patients
i have 10 bucks in my purse
i give it to him / one thing supports another
you know / & then i'm back into the sunshine
i deliver the drops to my friend / warn him
of the potential loss of balance from the dose
as his legs are weak @ best right / walking becoming
increasingly more difficult
*end note
i must say i had very interesting conversations
with both paul & phil / these two gentle men
are easy going intelligent guys who
carry them selves with an absolute calmness
& a sense of humour & humility
theirs is a public service / /
i say / better than prozac
welcome to the church of the universe
i divine thee with light
& she wanders off on to / in to a nother / post apocolyptic
rant
lay your hands across my body / & i shall whisper
well / some thing / my season of discontent swift lee
rises up throught the new grass of spring / early pale green
you know the one
& my belly flutters / like those smallest green buds
twisting free of winter / ah let the sun warm the trees
let's cast away these thoughts of death & winter darkness
we've left that side of the sun for a while / let's not
think about it / how cold it is over there / looking north
north / in to a black winter sky / it always kills me
let's kick up our heels / feel our feet touch the ground
let's be grateful for another year / & my belly double knots
& i wonder / did you think of me / & what's it like to be near
me / but not able to touch me / lest the rest of the world find
out / / well / it's just an off chance / wild in the aroma of
spring / can you taste it
walk past the valley of darkness
remember that we can't really have each other / it's just a passing
trip / / share this bed / sleep in that bed / i go
deep under / & i don't even realize it
ah the power of birth
& even now the night bird calls a distress signal
stay away from the nest / lead me / temptation less i follow
mind wanders when i walk / oh the possibilities
& bodies / toss toss toss / roll through this night
& some thing in side snaps & i wonder what i've done
& i can't be resposible / but in fact i am / & what shall
i do with all this / children that can't be contained
small boys in small boy bodies / fighting demons like
their mother / / fighting demons from their mother
& i did not ask for you to get me born
& i think / no you did not / & this becomes / is an
exercise in futility
& now i shall / will / lay beside your back & will you
know i am there / & will you sling your arm across the
small of my waist / pull me close / you've been gone so
long & yet / / we wait / for love
*
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