/
there are no words to describe where
your heart used to be
once / the finest streams
of sunlight moved through you
every thing was green & sparkle
blue of the waters edge
now your heart is a grey february evening
cold / filled with clouds of the heaviest kind
soft clay
i always hate the ground in winter
unyielding / frozen against the blade of my shovel /
in the dream / i dig holes for the dead
the ground is soft sand / warm brown / my shovel
slices through it / / i keep wondering why there are no rocks
how long must i dig / it is neither day nor night
who can see through such thick grey cloud
see / i've got this picture in my mind
of a mother drowning her daughter / / i can't stop her
it's like looking into a crystal ball / /
stop stop i yell / / she drowns all 5
how much pain did it take to kill your child
a lot
a whole lot of pain
& tho i walk through the valley of crazy
fear of the water / take your children to the water
holy baptismal of water / / before the eyes of god
hold your child under the water
& you know / / there 's a struggle
there has to be / / one does not go before the hand of god
with out a struggle
& see / i can't see a thing / it's much too black in side here
too black in side the brain / & she remembers when you loved her
this is the story of pain / & tho we dwell in the house of the lord
we will fear
we will fear
we will fear
love
& the rash on my arms spreads like my anger / my apathy
my mounting frustration / of lost / time moving unbearably fast
what is completion / a job well done
turn to the sun / & with 2 hands
tear your chest open / wide / let the pulse of your guts
feel the breeze of spring / a live / you are alive
& tho i walked through the winter of darkess
i can feel no evil / / / frozen time less
*
wind moved dust in swirls across the street
it might on any other day / make me move a little
quicker up the stairs / climb away to hide / / there was
some thing about the way the sky turned bluer when i turn my
cheek for you to kiss / on any other day i might have wondered why
/
*
2 comments:
it's envisioning the struggle that gets me.
I can't imagine the pain, or the darkness.
I know I know, this is about a play or something else entirely but for me it isn't.
Love you
~E
e / so much of this is about me / i've stood on the edge / this is a theme that comes up over & over for me / / it saddens me beyond belief every time i hear these things / i wrote this for jon
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