this is my birthday

this is anger / words split by
so fucking what

but this is not her anger / it is someone else's
it flies through time / & space

a flatten ing

against the earth she rides / her body
moves upon her feet / she feels / the rocks
the soil / cut into her shoes

above her / in the distance the cliffs are red / black with fungus
green with moss / sharp / no forgiving lines
sheer rock face / hundreds of feet high

will the mountain fall down upon me
will you / stop loving me /
will you / stop hating me

there are no for give ing lines /
no words to explain truth

these are the days of quiet
only a cat with a missing tail &
a shaved side for company / when she opens
the back door in the morning / the chickens run
to the door of the coop / cluck cluck cluck /
their days are boring / the same old peck peck peck
wait for the kitchen compost for a bit / bite to eat
they peck the mud floor / look for bugs / dinner
always dinner /


every where / apple trees / macs / transparents
old fashion / left over from another time / they
grow in ditches / over grown lots / people yards
most suffer black dot fungus / they fall from
the trees / small bruised / green

but there is one tree / next to the river
where the lake empties out / there is a path
way along the water / old rail bed / these
are the things near the one tree / / it sits
vacant alone in the field / it's apples are bright est
red / large / round / shine with your sleeve
inside / the flesh is as red as the skin / sweet juice

the old fashions root round / gnarled trunks
lichen layered branches that snap at the slightest
provocation / wind perhaps / may be a bear

/ / st.ill / they bear fruit
will of perpetual survival / seeds to the ground
seeds to the ground / this is how apples grow



out side the window / she hang her body
though it / lean ing out to smoke / sounds
surround / constant hum of the mill / the dryers
forklifts / grind of saws / becomes one noise
a wall / / across the road / some where in
the forest / the creek chuckles along / through
the woods / under the street / & finally to a giant
culvert / still not content to rest / it runs into
two channels under the mill / out / in to / the lake

blue / water is dark blue / endless / @ the north
end of the lake / the valhalla rise loom / tops covered
fresh snow / the weather office reports incidents of
snow in the northern part of province

how about the wind / did they say anything about the
fuck ing freeze ing cold / put a hat on damn it / & a long coat
where in the hell are my gloves / / st.ill she wears sandles
the only thing that feels good on her feet / soon will be time
to lose feet to the eye



these are hallucinations / when the walls tip
and she lights smoke in the house / only to type with
most lee / tired / see what the day of her birth brings

so far / bitter words on the eve/ she cheats sleep
with one eye open /watches blue smoke rise from
the cigarette pursed between her lips

tomorrow she will walk / the play will un fold