no - i can't

seems so hard to remember the day
the week
3 weeks gone by
2 months flown jet plane style

fast


see there are no frills on this ride
maybe you'll never see me again

all i know is

i got up this morning / & couldn't remember
a god damn thing
what happened to yesterday

funny how valium peels back the brain
release thought / seems to kill all the pain

so / she's back / bleed ing
a constant throb of numb shoots /
down the leg / slow hot jabs of ache
nerves?

see & this day / these days / grow
cold / & you wonder why my hands shake

stripes of green / this morning / snow
falls fat & wet / sticks / melts/ barely covers
enough for a slick
by 1 pm it's melted / leaves haven't even fallen
off the trees yet /

across the valley the day is blue / clouds rush
north up the lake / carried by invisible currents
warm air / cold drafts / oh those clouds move
full white /

but the strangest thing of all / the yellow leaves
bunches of / stands of / trees @ the top of elephant
mountain / back ground of blue & white / with a full
shake of autumn - - just to remind / it's st.ill october

snow's not suppose to be here for another month
2 years ago - it's didn't snow till christmas eve

the year of the hard freeze / / @ least the rain keeps
it warm / /

but you know / it doesn't take much for rain / it
doesn't take much for snow / a degree or two
@ this rate it could be winter / all winter / 6 months
of snow is too much to bear

so she walks away carries an arm load of depression
& wtf's - - can these grey days of forget be any darker
it's not even sadness / only a sense of empty / of

a whole hole / the holy whore / /

she winds down / to / this has been 30 minutes
do not look at the clock / remember to shut your eyes