spurned thots / please take them away

---

always erase the title
start with an empty page
come back to the title later

last line is always the beginning






last line
beginning / & i'm lost in a sea of psuedo frustration
can't get / time / can't get / "the work" / done

& it's only a rewrite / a play that's been written so
many times before / & what the hell is wrong with me
& i spot the laundry piling up / again / & i become
a caracture of my character / / oh i won't kill the children


but for a moment of silence / oh for a moment
a day / a week or 2 / of nothing to mind
except what i chose / / writing / & @ 1:19 am
i'm skipping out / for get about you / i won't look no
more / & i don't trust it this late @ nite / & what am
i getting my self in to / & can i wait one more year
for this fuck er / this story / this bane of my / well /
you know ///

i just want to get it done / exactly like my character
she just wants to get her manuscript done / but she can't
because of the voices in her head . . . / & i never use
elipses / cause i think i'm allergic / & the smell of the
joint come ing out of the pocket of my hoody / is so
strong

& oh it's great to be canadian
cause to day when i needed weed
i simply went to the weed store

& got some



for a fair price / no gouging

but i don't really like the smell of it
a bit too earthy / stinky / oh the bud















& so i walk throught the valley
of
i'm so goddamn stoned / i'm not
stoned @ all / & i suppose my mind /
my mouth / my chain smoking body
doesn't mind / as long as i'm not choking


cough ing / for get ting / ting?


sound of a glass in the dish washer

no /







& to nite / sky is unbearably clear / & how
i love the stars / & all things not with in reach

except i keep reach ing my thresh hold

& i can't believe i've arrived / here / now

all that sort of thing / /

& day never gets done / i wish i could make
lists or something / / / /




& to nite / he says

i miss you / & i say / you never say that

& he says / but i always miss you / & i say
you never say that / /

& he says / but right now / i'm really missing you




& out side i hear the trees shoosh / oh
how i love wind / always / some thing on
the wind / & if some how it could talk
& if some how / i knew how to listen


& there are critters in the yard / skunks &
racoons / make rounds / sniffing for crumbs
fallen from childrens hands / + i'm certain
they nibble on the bread ends in the compost



& compost / such strange stuff /

oh the things which grow in that box

hidden / deepest part of the back yard

i see
potatoes / the odd sun flower
& onions / most lee tho / it turns to sludge
rotted / oh turn that pile over / & can you believe
so many worms / so many worms / they / i believe
are happy with their lot / & so they / eat

& the crows come / fly away / fly away
come back black bird / & last year they
finally chased away / / raven / / tall raven

he is scary big / & really he's just looking for a free
meal too / he must / be an omen / some thing that
big / doesn't show up for no reason / / & just like that


gone / after the crows / chased & swooped down &
cut across the air / back & forth / one raven / crows
never alone / /


i wonder if he will ever come back / maybe he's out there
early morning / way before i get up / & maybe if i started
smoking on the back bed room porch @ 5 am / i might see
him / may be he's not gone @ all / /


the thing of it is / / i don't feel him / i don't dream him


& i am smoking grass for jesus / & jesus loves me
cause i'm mellow oh oh


*& tho i walk thru the valley of jesus

these mountains are high / & i am delighted to
be breathing the air