mother / writer

& it's so crazy how late @ nite it gets
& i am rolling in to / this side of the clock
again / again / i am late / & i am smoking cigarettes
pondering the universe / enjoying the warm air /
the million stars / / all for me




day lite / sun shine / i am in the garden
i am the garden / / i want to look @ flowers
all my flowers / all day / you hear that / all day


& we are picking berries / & we are smelling
sweet smells & we are / we are / summer



& i am crazy working / writing mommy / dragging my
lap top to my friend's houses / looking for quiet

to day / stupidly / i thot i'd chain my self to my chair
& just write / / all / day // all day / / to edit one act


& one point i loaded up my 4 yr old in the car & took
him to the dollar store / & let him buy a cap gun for him &
his brother / / what was i thinking / / i wasn't

i won't even get in to the aftermath / need less to say
i hid in the garden / weeding / / for some reason
they don't bother me when i'm out there / but when i'm in
the house / / trying to concentrate




& they wonder why i write about mother's going crazy













for i walk thru / under / over / the valley
of / i shall fear / / worry / / feel bad

for i am / / mother / guilt @ it's finest hour

i am / laundry / & baba's / & dirty dishes
& stick y floors / i am/ crumbs & toenails
& boogers in my bed / & where is my pillow
& why is the pillow case on the floor



& so i stay up late / write away / what i think about when
i stare @ the stars / / & late lee / i smoke in my office
with the window open / & don't feel guilty / tired of that feeling
of / i shouldn't do that / i should / oh i should / embrace
every thing i should n't do / i'm gonna grab / hold tight



summer makes / foolish ness / warm nights
always / i grow younger / for get who i am /
be the smell of cedar & dry forest /

new mown lawn / shrieks of children
they always shriek / don't they / /
screams of delight / / & oh / / summer is here
& kootenay lake is azure blue / / deep / & those
mountains green / turn blue as they distance
valley of mountains / valley of water / / /