/
he's 4 years old
he wants to change his name to
"i like my friends"
it's true / such a miserable day for mothering
the 7 year old sent home for punching because a girl
budded in front of him in the line and then pushed him to the ground
yeah it sucks / it's the second time this week
thank fuck the week is over
& so i tumble back in to a friday nite
& i remember
i left my cigarettes in the rain today
some stayed dry / some soaked brown
iris blooms / deep purple / pale yellow
some a combination of both colours
& my mind stays confused on a day
like today when lay my head down
sun cusped on the east mountain
& i could hear the morning birds
calling me / time to sleep
& there is some thing
about being awake all night
& after you make love he gets up
leaves silent / no good bye
no thank you / he goes to watch tv
& i sleep until 11 in the empty bed
some where between the sun falling
& me rising / i fell apart / for got where i stood
bare
& yea / i walk through the valley of darkness
i fear / my own evil
what are these stories i tell my self / my myth
some where i for got to be happy
is it really so bad
ash tray over flows
& i am walking through a cloud again
a fog / as it were /
yesterday / sun sparkled diamonds on the wet
leaves of the poplar / wind struck / fairies
he runs his hand down my thigh / never says a word
& some where between talking too much / & gasping for breath
i for got how to talk / words lodged in my throat / sticky
i wanted to say i love you / i wanted to say / make love
hand runs across hip bone / mouth to breast
& i think of round river rocks / eternally tumbled
& how they end up in my garden
phone rings a million times / / & we are tired again
gideon taps me on the shoulder / laughs
you really did it this time
what were you searching for again
i turn & he is gone / really only an image in my head
the black voice of reason & in sanity / oh yes / we've walked
many times before
up stairs / children sleep / & i wonder what it must be like to sleep
the sleep of the growing
& june lands
fast furious lush
the garden
a tangle of / a mass of / oh green / it's green
& for that i am grateful / i've come round the sun again
but i don't know how i got here
broken / bitten bottom lip
stained purple bruise
the tongue licks the bottom lip
over & over & over again
some thing about a little bit of pain
& yes / these words i use are simple / it doesn't take much
to realize / sitting on the verge / caught between the shore line
& never ending waves / / i wish to be swept out to sea /
& so / i search
///
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