poet's confessions

look i'm just thrilled with my photo pasting ability / / blogger is girl friendly & stoner friendly too / / i didn't even have to work too hard to figure out how to post photos / / picasa & hello / what 2 lovely programs

i also changed the look of my blog & i guess i will get rid of all the nasty comments i've had in my side bar / / but for all of you who wrote those things / well / i'm not even sure what i would say to you / / i guess just that it pains me people can be so fucking cruel & just down right mean / / i never tried to be a poetry diva / i was never looking for accolades / i was just writing / & if you people / those people can't figure that out / / i can't believe that anyone would perceive me as a threat / / i mean / i'm good / but not that good LOL



well i've learned the internet can indeed be a cruel place / & the world of poetry is cut throat as well / / / of course i would love to be a published author / but i realize there are a million other people just like me out there / / the competition is stiff / / it's so off putting / /

so this is the year / i dust off my 4 most recent manuscripts & see if i can get something published/ i really need to finish editing my play / but honestly i'm so sick of it / / after 2 years i could give a fuck if i ever laid eyes on it again / /

verna says i'm so close to being done / / i need one last giant push & it will be finished / / like giving birth / in my heart i know it will never be done

+ 2 poetry manuscripts / one in complete edited form . i lost interest after i sent the entire thing out in packages & did not get even one poem published / / dismal @ best / /

one more in almost complete edited form / / should be put into packages & sent out
i've made up my lists of journals & poetry editors / i've got my letter drafted out

but ------ fear...



+ there is my fat manuscript from last summer / that sits in complete raw form / a sick raunchy love story written in poetry format / / it's too close to the bone / / i hate that so much of my writing comes from me me me me me me - - - i mean i can't publish any thing that close to home and personal ------


*never write about one's personal affairs - ahem*



okay - so this is the first cohesive journal entry i've made in my blog / / the rest has been my meanderings & crazy mindedness / / you know


maybe brooks hoffman is right / may be i'm not a poet / / it certainly is easier to go on like this / conversant is easiest / don't you think ????