Saturday, February 05, 2005

please ing in to february

there is no anger
no joy / no day
only night


waiting for decadence to settle in

but nothing excites / the world is a blah
of
gray


she reads poe

dreams black raven

curious dreams / make no sense


st.ill there are no answers




to day a walk through the forest
there is no snow / but one million
piles of dog shit to be dodged /


there is a fort in the forest
there are giant moss covered rocks
breaking down / time even breaks granite

they look like eggs / those rocks jut
& poke out of the ground / a childs
climbing delight









walk around / empty of heart
do you know how much i miss you



can't articulate the gaping hole
this derisive feeling of denial



hold on / to what i wish for
there can be no lies





the rings on my fingers / flush against
fat / no thin / thin / fingers are thin

rings cut their own hole in my hands
rings symbolize / me / spinning in circles
never getting to the end of things
never finishing /

no completion




my daughter buys me sweet perfume
for xmas / the smell of it takes me
back to gay night clubs in victoria
cross dresser / boy toy / punk rock
andro / the look / boy? girl?
& drinks & sweet perfume & chewing gum

& mda


or da for short

& the fags all did poppers / rush
the baths / all the boys went to the baths
cause that's where all the nasty shit happened


girls were only allowed to view so much
& then / cut off / /








funny where a smell can take a person






apples / the smell reminds me of apples
a lost trip through eatons in vancouver centre
where / the hard sell / shiney / gold / all glitter
is not / oh shiney / silver / perhaps all glitter is
ribbons / & giant perfume bottles / display model only






i think i need to get out / do some thing / see some thing
breathe
just breathe / remember to talk to people //















i'm still waiting for spring

still waiting for a change in the day

june / ah the finest hour of june / or was it may
oh the maerri monthe of mae




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