stupid / sad / post / for a very ill friend

i am touching the floor of insanity

you are turning white again

blending in with snow banks


& i am in grief / a preconceived notion

last spot devotion

ah & these words look odd again to me



she says / no it wasn't a stroke

it's brain cancer / / he's getting confused

body an explosion of muscles gone astray




he couldn't remember what he was talking about


@ all.







& this bird thinks / / i'm the symptoms

brain refuses to remember any more









you are so brave my friend
just deny death / / you been there before
all most crossed over / / some thing held you back
i'd like to think it's because we needed to be friends

i missed all the rest of your life / /

eyes a burn / a twitch of / oh for get about your pain
turn your self inside out a again / just be

perhaps it's only tired ness

i'd say / you think you're missing a party some where






oh what a way to end the year / ill ness / death
terminal terminalism

& yet i'd have to say
i've never felt closer to death than i do right now
some thing about getting older / body brake down
failure to for get / how organic we really are

cancer reminds me of mildew in the garden
leaf rot / / it spreads / yellows / covers the leaves
in brown / black spots / spreads like chicken pocks in a grade
one class / / that what the cancer cells do / they go travelling



hard living is just that
hard living is just that
hard living is just that

you live hard / the body prays / pays
eventually hard living will kill you
eventually hard living liquor swilling
drugs / ah the debachery / hard to give up
eventually hard living will kil you




& peanut butter honey sandwiches are good
i know i just ate one & it was very sticky
finger licking sticky

and now black beans & beef with cheese & sour cream
& salsa with a few capers for the slight lee diesle taste





naturalpath say: eat protein before bed
that will stop you from waking up




stop me from being to fuking crazy

lost lucid lee / the mouth never stops moving


nothing of interest comes out of there

just a repeat repeat / /





of - hard to control the pressure of all these keys

that makes no sense at all / one more cigarette to think
& come through
here graciously




mean while the turkey thaws in the fridge
ulitily bird / so sure there will be a wing missing




there is nothing to be transcended from this view point



i will never get there /