i keep wait ing
for the words to come
& they do // cold autumn words
& to day / ice is in the air / wind
of the norther lee type / complete
with cloud / & the constant / crackle
crunch of leaves fall ing / /
they sound like foot steps
mountains are blue a gain /
ground is yellow / once more
this is time of dying / when
the other world / seems so much
closer / @ hand / in my hand
& some times i feel like i can touch
i can see // that // not quite / tangible
it's these dark nites / you see
when the lowt of winter approach es
& all those in the way / had better hang on
pull tight / fold in to / each other
/& the pull of the universe is strong
this loop / never end ing ride a bout
the sun / / can't control the seasons
hold on / roses don't mind cold
ah / bloom is on the vine / & one last
holly hock / vibrant pink / black en ed
leaves / fall mildew / black rot /
i've seen it in the cemetary / head stones
trees / cover ed / / this is the way of death
/
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
more / in other places / secrets kept
ah
late nite / a gain /
seems like / every day ends
late / & there is comfort
in sleep ing heads / breath in
out / /
& i am on
a clean ing frenzy / of a house
left in the care of children /
ah washer dry runs for 2 days
straight / & i'm wonder ing if i'll
start buy ing lily of the valley fabric soften er
the next time i run out /
& i've decided / i like the comforts of
/ yes / this life is certain lee worth living
yet / some thing else beckons / & i'm hoping
hope like hell
time / doesn't go running / get get / going
a long time left / /
& who knows what these words really mean
a muddle of
can't say what's really on my mind
i've been think ing about pirates
& out laws / / i've been think ing about
vigilante's / & wonder ing where i fall in
& would you wear lace for me
& a door opens / slams shut / soon
he walks in / soon /
********
& that nite refuses to be post ed / last nite
be comes this nite / & wait for the door
wait for the interruption of thot / wait
late nite / a gain /
seems like / every day ends
late / & there is comfort
in sleep ing heads / breath in
out / /
& i am on
a clean ing frenzy / of a house
left in the care of children /
ah washer dry runs for 2 days
straight / & i'm wonder ing if i'll
start buy ing lily of the valley fabric soften er
the next time i run out /
& i've decided / i like the comforts of
/ yes / this life is certain lee worth living
yet / some thing else beckons / & i'm hoping
hope like hell
time / doesn't go running / get get / going
a long time left / /
& who knows what these words really mean
a muddle of
can't say what's really on my mind
i've been think ing about pirates
& out laws / / i've been think ing about
vigilante's / & wonder ing where i fall in
& would you wear lace for me
& a door opens / slams shut / soon
he walks in / soon /
********
& that nite refuses to be post ed / last nite
be comes this nite / & wait for the door
wait for the interruption of thot / wait
Monday, October 24, 2005
what jack said //
thoughts on //
in a comment to something on scott's blog finch said something like 'i can't stand all the pain'. that's what the // does//it fractures all the//pain is distanced//removal of conventional order that led to all the pain to start with; the stuff like: and also, and. the function of the -- in emily d's poetry is similar... also all the -- in mallarme's box of slips of paper called by the translator 'tomb for anatole.' go look at the poem on her blog. the title word at the top is something like 'be inn gn' -- that effect also is interesting -- the word hidden and two words or more possible from the cloudiness of one. not enough people read her blog but not enough people read any blog. the reader si the appreciator. the appreciator is the comforter. the comforter is the one who is nature. nature is the silence around us, the warm ground. finch bitches about the people won't come read her. the warm earth supports her. she's comforted by nature whether she knows it or not. i don't feel like i need to go read the actual poem on her blog to be the pine tree which is what her poem also is anyway. if i wanted to go read keats i could read thich. if i want a dose of jesus, i can read whitman. one is in the other. all is anonymous. but let's face it, i have stolen a lot of the ///and the //inginn be/// here's to finch, you're a sweet person and a lovely inventor. i wish i could visit nelson and sip a cup of tea. goodnite !
/
in a comment to something on scott's blog finch said something like 'i can't stand all the pain'. that's what the // does//it fractures all the//pain is distanced//removal of conventional order that led to all the pain to start with; the stuff like: and also, and. the function of the -- in emily d's poetry is similar... also all the -- in mallarme's box of slips of paper called by the translator 'tomb for anatole.' go look at the poem on her blog. the title word at the top is something like 'be inn gn' -- that effect also is interesting -- the word hidden and two words or more possible from the cloudiness of one. not enough people read her blog but not enough people read any blog. the reader si the appreciator. the appreciator is the comforter. the comforter is the one who is nature. nature is the silence around us, the warm ground. finch bitches about the people won't come read her. the warm earth supports her. she's comforted by nature whether she knows it or not. i don't feel like i need to go read the actual poem on her blog to be the pine tree which is what her poem also is anyway. if i wanted to go read keats i could read thich. if i want a dose of jesus, i can read whitman. one is in the other. all is anonymous. but let's face it, i have stolen a lot of the ///and the //inginn be/// here's to finch, you're a sweet person and a lovely inventor. i wish i could visit nelson and sip a cup of tea. goodnite !
/
Thursday, October 20, 2005
on be ing gin
ah / so what is there to think about
on this late nite / when the brain / head
give me my head / is so full all ready / it
can't bite another drop / /
let it bleed out / blood letting / oh this crzy
rag i bind it up with / / yes / let the blood
begin
& a gain / the weather socks in
thick cloud / wet / water drips
end less rain / & oh / i tie my self
in for another 7 months of cold
yes/ let the layers be gin / be jenn
long black coat / margaret calls me
the black seal / / & who am i to argue
i must be some thing /
& to day / i feel need ed / want ed
& to day / there is not enough of
me
well spent / i suppose /
ah / mother / to children /
mother to the cast / &
this is my call ing ?
i think / i'd rather be watch ing clouds
planning my escape / lavish i think / yes
make the escape lavish / / & head drifts off
heavy a gain /
& funny things happen when the moon shifts
men be come deter mined / women let go
& some where / in be tween / lust sets in
& oh / so hard to get out of my mind
well / what were you think ing /
streets are shiny a gain
treat them with kind ness
some / drift / off / they come back tho
damp nite consumes us / as we set off
in different directions
yes some come back a gain
/
on this late nite / when the brain / head
give me my head / is so full all ready / it
can't bite another drop / /
let it bleed out / blood letting / oh this crzy
rag i bind it up with / / yes / let the blood
begin
& a gain / the weather socks in
thick cloud / wet / water drips
end less rain / & oh / i tie my self
in for another 7 months of cold
yes/ let the layers be gin / be jenn
long black coat / margaret calls me
the black seal / / & who am i to argue
i must be some thing /
& to day / i feel need ed / want ed
& to day / there is not enough of
me
well spent / i suppose /
ah / mother / to children /
mother to the cast / &
this is my call ing ?
i think / i'd rather be watch ing clouds
planning my escape / lavish i think / yes
make the escape lavish / / & head drifts off
heavy a gain /
& funny things happen when the moon shifts
men be come deter mined / women let go
& some where / in be tween / lust sets in
& oh / so hard to get out of my mind
well / what were you think ing /
streets are shiny a gain
treat them with kind ness
some / drift / off / they come back tho
damp nite consumes us / as we set off
in different directions
yes some come back a gain
/
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
where i get too / this time of nite / /
& this day has no
end ing / / it be comes nite
in stead / which is all right with me
this nite should be end ing / if it
wasn't for the moon / & how the clouds
be come a live with blue lite / funny how
they glow / illumination / bright
the ground be low / ah / i see every thing
in blue shadows
she calls every one / dear
these are the children / & how a mother
loves her children / / care must be shown
love / affirmation / strong hand to guide /
these are / mother things
& this is the way my mind goes / miss ing mother
& how are the children coping since you went away
gone gone gone gone gone gone / gone / going
no / never went / never / left @ all /
& yes / these are / strange thots of a mother
but / i want to know / how does one run from love
such a strange question / that /
@ nite i stand out side on the back deck / smoking
from a cross the field / i hear / sounds of making love
small moans / a woman's oohs / / & it sounds / sounds
warm / practical / the right thing to do / on an october nite
& i wonder / how you touch me
& if only i could shut of the ring ing in my ears /
what is / absolute / quiet / / & i'm think ing
i don't really like the answer to that question
some thing i think about / should n't think about
& you know / some day you can sleep for ever / sleep to ashes
ashes to sleep /
& i think about / birthing children / to live / & how we give life
to things which must die // not sure what the point is / / /
& really the only thing with any permanence
is this rock / i hold in my hand / & i wonder how many billions it's seen
& couldn't i be the rock / a rock / this round rock i hold in my hand
i've been here for ever //
ps lorna dee / if you are read ing / thanx for postie :)
i left a note in your journal but don't know if you got it
~jx
/
end ing / / it be comes nite
in stead / which is all right with me
this nite should be end ing / if it
wasn't for the moon / & how the clouds
be come a live with blue lite / funny how
they glow / illumination / bright
the ground be low / ah / i see every thing
in blue shadows
she calls every one / dear
these are the children / & how a mother
loves her children / / care must be shown
love / affirmation / strong hand to guide /
these are / mother things
& this is the way my mind goes / miss ing mother
& how are the children coping since you went away
gone gone gone gone gone gone / gone / going
no / never went / never / left @ all /
& yes / these are / strange thots of a mother
but / i want to know / how does one run from love
such a strange question / that /
@ nite i stand out side on the back deck / smoking
from a cross the field / i hear / sounds of making love
small moans / a woman's oohs / / & it sounds / sounds
warm / practical / the right thing to do / on an october nite
& i wonder / how you touch me
& if only i could shut of the ring ing in my ears /
what is / absolute / quiet / / & i'm think ing
i don't really like the answer to that question
some thing i think about / should n't think about
& you know / some day you can sleep for ever / sleep to ashes
ashes to sleep /
& i think about / birthing children / to live / & how we give life
to things which must die // not sure what the point is / / /
& really the only thing with any permanence
is this rock / i hold in my hand / & i wonder how many billions it's seen
& couldn't i be the rock / a rock / this round rock i hold in my hand
i've been here for ever //
ps lorna dee / if you are read ing / thanx for postie :)
i left a note in your journal but don't know if you got it
~jx
/
Sunday, October 16, 2005
i told you the season shifted / see / i told you so
& see / long hours
take tolls / ah mightee price
of the day / eyes blur &
it's a case of / damned / all ways
& why is it / things don't come fast enough
things come too fast
& this late nite /hard to get
children to bed /
& i'm wonder ing a bout
revenge / & struggle
& how love can be taken
personal lee /
all the wrong ways
It is so much
about silence.
How you slowly
do mine. ~eden
& i'm /
search ing for the silence
search for silence
& even tho clouds cover
/ the moon
oh silly moon / st.ill / brights the sky
plays blue / under thick coat of nite
& i'm all ready wonder ing / what my legs look like
& should i really grow a beard when i hit menopause
you see / sun slips farther / far a way from me now
& it's those strands of sun lite i can't hang on to
too thin to grasp / / even my mind plays tricks
& thus / begins / what is this shadow between the verge
& my morn ing / & when did dawn cusp in to nite / cause
i'm try ing to keep that one straight / in my head
* & you know / i've been dying to write about
the garden is dying / & every where sun flowers
on long legs / bent stalks / look about /peer / see
some thing in the garden / i'm not / & those big round
eyes / i'm sure they must be tell ing me some thing
like / watch out for fall ing leaves / & oh how the wind
picks up leaves / absolute lee sworls / swirls them /
/ it's a drunken wind / out of control with yellows &
dry crunch / / the sky is fall ing / / & i wonder if i should
/ remind every one / if @ least one person might
listen /
/
take tolls / ah mightee price
of the day / eyes blur &
it's a case of / damned / all ways
& why is it / things don't come fast enough
things come too fast
& this late nite /hard to get
children to bed /
& i'm wonder ing a bout
revenge / & struggle
& how love can be taken
personal lee /
all the wrong ways
It is so much
about silence.
How you slowly
do mine. ~eden
& i'm /
search ing for the silence
search for silence
& even tho clouds cover
/ the moon
oh silly moon / st.ill / brights the sky
plays blue / under thick coat of nite
& i'm all ready wonder ing / what my legs look like
& should i really grow a beard when i hit menopause
you see / sun slips farther / far a way from me now
& it's those strands of sun lite i can't hang on to
too thin to grasp / / even my mind plays tricks
& thus / begins / what is this shadow between the verge
& my morn ing / & when did dawn cusp in to nite / cause
i'm try ing to keep that one straight / in my head
* & you know / i've been dying to write about
the garden is dying / & every where sun flowers
on long legs / bent stalks / look about /peer / see
some thing in the garden / i'm not / & those big round
eyes / i'm sure they must be tell ing me some thing
like / watch out for fall ing leaves / & oh how the wind
picks up leaves / absolute lee sworls / swirls them /
/ it's a drunken wind / out of control with yellows &
dry crunch / / the sky is fall ing / / & i wonder if i should
/ remind every one / if @ least one person might
listen /
/
ah / irony / perhaps / a joke on me
some times /
it's not enough
not being / present
& so i am wander / lost a gain
pull ed / this way / that / way
& i find my self in the theatre
submerged in a lavish local production
an experience to be sure / so time runs
out / late / in bed / early for a change
this week the show goes up / & it is / to
say the least / very exciting / / most lee
what i've been doing is being on book
helping the actors remember their lines
i've complete lee de constructed the script
& enjoyed every moment of it / it's been a
brilliant learn ing experience / & give me
thot as too the next thing i want to write
it's also made me realize what i can get
away with as a writer of plays / / (i'm hoping)
well / it is one big learn ing experience isn't it
i've decided / i want to write & direct plays
i think / i could be good @ it / / perhaps
all in good time / /
the strange thing is / realizing / i have
large portions of the script memorized
so maybe / my mind isn't as shot as i thot it was
/
it's not enough
not being / present
& so i am wander / lost a gain
pull ed / this way / that / way
& i find my self in the theatre
submerged in a lavish local production
an experience to be sure / so time runs
out / late / in bed / early for a change
this week the show goes up / & it is / to
say the least / very exciting / / most lee
what i've been doing is being on book
helping the actors remember their lines
i've complete lee de constructed the script
& enjoyed every moment of it / it's been a
brilliant learn ing experience / & give me
thot as too the next thing i want to write
it's also made me realize what i can get
away with as a writer of plays / / (i'm hoping)
well / it is one big learn ing experience isn't it
i've decided / i want to write & direct plays
i think / i could be good @ it / / perhaps
all in good time / /
the strange thing is / realizing / i have
large portions of the script memorized
so maybe / my mind isn't as shot as i thot it was
/
Monday, October 10, 2005
& fool ish / i take my mind to other places
it's the 'busy' i find so interest ing
busy / doingwhat ? ///
a mystery i can't solve
to day / final lee over
ah / this day of turkey bird / this day
of / 16 people @ dinner / + after dinner guests
collapse in to
nothing / no thing @ all
collapse in to
the leaves are fall ing / now autumn
a constant crackle of / poplar / first
to dry / ugly brown rot / fall to the ground
sound like / foot steps / noise to startle
out side / eyes adjust / slow lee to mid nite
@ first / i'm blind ed / by dark ness /
but after a while / i can see the garden
below / ah / shadows / st.ill / i can't
quite see / in to the black of forest
i am surround ed / eternal lee / by this
deep forest / end less / trees / & the
things / ah / which live there / / &
the heavy crunch indicates / bear?
who knows @ this time of nite / mind
runs wild / all ways / & i'm st.ill think ing
anger / i'm st.ill think ing / it'll pass / soon
like clouds / it'll pass / /
& i am shaking / temperature drops
all ways / dress ed for the weather
sweaters / hats / my winter coat to
stand out side / to sit & write in /
& the vibration / tight ens / a cross
chest / back / the parts of my legs
that won't be rest ed / the parts resist
can't be soothed / ah / constant knot
& some thing about / so hard to find a moment
& some thing about / colours of maple / how
one tree can be yellow / green / pink /& red
all @ the same time / fusion / flush / / it sits
a gainst my teeth / my eyes taste / perfect
colour of / this side of the sun / / when morn ing
drips heavy / wet / some how / it brightens
an amplification of / does it get any bright er / &
consider this / then / how yellow spreads a cross
the land scape / & how the spoil sets in / & how
the ground / oh holy soil / take me back / & black
mildew sets in / let me break you down / i'll break
you / / come / enter me / back in to my mouth
garden collapses / /
st.ill / / yes the earth prepares for / st.ill
a gain / i get too far a head of even / my self
all ready in november / scream ing / december
the lowt of wyter is up on us / tuck in / tuck in
this is the way of seasons / & how earth moves thru
the sky / eternal lee tipped / & really / why blame
the sun / when real lee / gaia is too blame /
& i wonder / was i all ways this cold in october
/
busy / doingwhat ? ///
a mystery i can't solve
to day / final lee over
ah / this day of turkey bird / this day
of / 16 people @ dinner / + after dinner guests
collapse in to
nothing / no thing @ all
collapse in to
the leaves are fall ing / now autumn
a constant crackle of / poplar / first
to dry / ugly brown rot / fall to the ground
sound like / foot steps / noise to startle
out side / eyes adjust / slow lee to mid nite
@ first / i'm blind ed / by dark ness /
but after a while / i can see the garden
below / ah / shadows / st.ill / i can't
quite see / in to the black of forest
i am surround ed / eternal lee / by this
deep forest / end less / trees / & the
things / ah / which live there / / &
the heavy crunch indicates / bear?
who knows @ this time of nite / mind
runs wild / all ways / & i'm st.ill think ing
anger / i'm st.ill think ing / it'll pass / soon
like clouds / it'll pass / /
& i am shaking / temperature drops
all ways / dress ed for the weather
sweaters / hats / my winter coat to
stand out side / to sit & write in /
& the vibration / tight ens / a cross
chest / back / the parts of my legs
that won't be rest ed / the parts resist
can't be soothed / ah / constant knot
& some thing about / so hard to find a moment
& some thing about / colours of maple / how
one tree can be yellow / green / pink /& red
all @ the same time / fusion / flush / / it sits
a gainst my teeth / my eyes taste / perfect
colour of / this side of the sun / / when morn ing
drips heavy / wet / some how / it brightens
an amplification of / does it get any bright er / &
consider this / then / how yellow spreads a cross
the land scape / & how the spoil sets in / & how
the ground / oh holy soil / take me back / & black
mildew sets in / let me break you down / i'll break
you / / come / enter me / back in to my mouth
garden collapses / /
st.ill / / yes the earth prepares for / st.ill
a gain / i get too far a head of even / my self
all ready in november / scream ing / december
the lowt of wyter is up on us / tuck in / tuck in
this is the way of seasons / & how earth moves thru
the sky / eternal lee tipped / & really / why blame
the sun / when real lee / gaia is too blame /
& i wonder / was i all ways this cold in october
/
Saturday, October 08, 2005
fall ing / up
ah / & eye be comes
a difficult place / tired / torn
oh yes / this silly life / & i am making
plans for
i am dream ing of
wish wish wish ing / / / futile
when there is no question / no answer
& i'm lost in it again / this feel ing / oh i feel it
right here / & body resists a kind / move / & what
is this labour of breath / & when can i stop this
& certain lee / i'm speed ing / going fast /
process / i'm talk ing about/ process /
a difficult place / tired / torn
oh yes / this silly life / & i am making
plans for
i am dream ing of
wish wish wish ing / / / futile
when there is no question / no answer
& i'm lost in it again / this feel ing / oh i feel it
right here / & body resists a kind / move / & what
is this labour of breath / & when can i stop this
& certain lee / i'm speed ing / going fast /
process / i'm talk ing about/ process /
Thursday, October 06, 2005
that's where i'm fall ing / fail ing / flail ing / washed away with the rain
yester day / / lost in a
room of dreams / ah / faint nite mare
of the fair est sort
& i am lost be hind a blind eye
& a sea of / it was blue / i'm so
sure it was / blue guilt / of /
i won't go there a gain / /
& so pay ment comes in the form
of / this wheel i ride on / karmic
pain / / /
& so the rains / come a gain
fat rain / cold / bring on the autumn
rain / / this is leaves turn ing red
these are / gold en days / & how do
i describe / pink of garden / how every thing
all those leaves / / spring a long way from now
in either direction
no thing loud to proclaim
all tho / i think i'm dying
but don't tell any one
each breath closer to
the last breath closer
& what is the intensity of this pain
The happiness of the drop is to die in the river;
When pain exceeds the limits; the pain itself becomes medicine.
~ Mirza Ghalib
& so / must i be come / my own medicine
my own question / / my own answer
i think about it / @ dusk / early now
dark by 7 / & when the blue of 630
is thinning / pale a cross mountain tops
i try to remember march / when one
nite the sky pales blue / st.ill / /
sudden lee / air smells different /
a lark / a memory / chicken congee
& heroin / / some thing about letting
the air / next to my arms / hairs brindle
up ward / to ward / / ah
but this is not the time of / march on
i say / march on / spring is not here
not on this side of the sun / / spring
waits some where else / a place in
space /over there / current lee empty
spring waits / / / you see
this is the time / of / fold ing / i want
want to / to fold in to you /& if i was blind ed
would you be tray / / i dream back aches
lungs that wont breathe / i dream / black holes
& empty
i can't remember now
to nite / cloud sucks up / closes / i swear
it's closing in / holds tight to the mountains
i swear / it never changes / water / all ways
water / & the constant noise / of / i can't hear
you / the trees are rain ing / streams & rivlets
this is lightening bolts / of the body type
this is alcohol & stress / a lack of care
just where / did the wonder ment go
& to day is tender / this day of / nothing to say
speak only kind ness / a voice not raised
this is / some thing snapped in the brain
not sure / what's repair able / what can be used
a gain / /
this is / the worst sort / of mother
& tho i walk thru the valley of / i'm a bad example
& tho i walk thru the valley of / have you no compunction
remorse /
ah / but i am dy ing of shame
or some similar malady / /
it's not only the body that aches
spiked bone / spasmed muscle
these are the things which speak to me
shout over mind / over reason /
head be comes / / an other place
refuge of mind / prisoner of thot
ah / give me sanctuary / white lite
let this body fall down ward /
@ some point / some thing has to give
& i wonder how far i'll make it
see / these are / results of bad choices / poor timing
a general dis regard for be ing / mortal
belly fills with a halo of sting / broken / tender
& i dare you / touch me there / where my core is
lay your hand up on my stomach / tell me
what do you feel
& i say / i feel the empty / burnt core
nucleus of heart / centre of soul
betray al of gut / / & the hand begins
to shake / just to emphasis a point
total body vibration / sick feel ing
& i think i'll stare at the fog some more / try to
make sense out of stars that can't be seen /
see / if i can touch a cloud / if i just reach out
& last nite / i stand in the 230 nite / no sound
not even my breath / / & i hear the screams
coming up the valley / blood curdling / scream ing
for help / & i'll be damn it i know where it's come ing from
just some where down / be low / / & i wonder if some one
else can hear it / her / the screams of her / yelling help
& grisley screams / can the whole town hear / they must
be able to hear / / & then / silence /
i never call the cops any more / / /
it be comes a dream / an other one / / all things
which can't be remember ed / /
/
room of dreams / ah / faint nite mare
of the fair est sort
& i am lost be hind a blind eye
& a sea of / it was blue / i'm so
sure it was / blue guilt / of /
i won't go there a gain / /
& so pay ment comes in the form
of / this wheel i ride on / karmic
pain / / /
& so the rains / come a gain
fat rain / cold / bring on the autumn
rain / / this is leaves turn ing red
these are / gold en days / & how do
i describe / pink of garden / how every thing
all those leaves / / spring a long way from now
in either direction
no thing loud to proclaim
all tho / i think i'm dying
but don't tell any one
each breath closer to
the last breath closer
& what is the intensity of this pain
The happiness of the drop is to die in the river;
When pain exceeds the limits; the pain itself becomes medicine.
~ Mirza Ghalib
& so / must i be come / my own medicine
my own question / / my own answer
i think about it / @ dusk / early now
dark by 7 / & when the blue of 630
is thinning / pale a cross mountain tops
i try to remember march / when one
nite the sky pales blue / st.ill / /
sudden lee / air smells different /
a lark / a memory / chicken congee
& heroin / / some thing about letting
the air / next to my arms / hairs brindle
up ward / to ward / / ah
but this is not the time of / march on
i say / march on / spring is not here
not on this side of the sun / / spring
waits some where else / a place in
space /over there / current lee empty
spring waits / / / you see
this is the time / of / fold ing / i want
want to / to fold in to you /& if i was blind ed
would you be tray / / i dream back aches
lungs that wont breathe / i dream / black holes
& empty
i can't remember now
to nite / cloud sucks up / closes / i swear
it's closing in / holds tight to the mountains
i swear / it never changes / water / all ways
water / & the constant noise / of / i can't hear
you / the trees are rain ing / streams & rivlets
this is lightening bolts / of the body type
this is alcohol & stress / a lack of care
just where / did the wonder ment go
& to day is tender / this day of / nothing to say
speak only kind ness / a voice not raised
this is / some thing snapped in the brain
not sure / what's repair able / what can be used
a gain / /
this is / the worst sort / of mother
& tho i walk thru the valley of / i'm a bad example
& tho i walk thru the valley of / have you no compunction
remorse /
ah / but i am dy ing of shame
or some similar malady / /
it's not only the body that aches
spiked bone / spasmed muscle
these are the things which speak to me
shout over mind / over reason /
head be comes / / an other place
refuge of mind / prisoner of thot
ah / give me sanctuary / white lite
let this body fall down ward /
@ some point / some thing has to give
& i wonder how far i'll make it
see / these are / results of bad choices / poor timing
a general dis regard for be ing / mortal
belly fills with a halo of sting / broken / tender
& i dare you / touch me there / where my core is
lay your hand up on my stomach / tell me
what do you feel
& i say / i feel the empty / burnt core
nucleus of heart / centre of soul
betray al of gut / / & the hand begins
to shake / just to emphasis a point
total body vibration / sick feel ing
& i think i'll stare at the fog some more / try to
make sense out of stars that can't be seen /
see / if i can touch a cloud / if i just reach out
& last nite / i stand in the 230 nite / no sound
not even my breath / / & i hear the screams
coming up the valley / blood curdling / scream ing
for help / & i'll be damn it i know where it's come ing from
just some where down / be low / / & i wonder if some one
else can hear it / her / the screams of her / yelling help
& grisley screams / can the whole town hear / they must
be able to hear / / & then / silence /
i never call the cops any more / / /
it be comes a dream / an other one / / all things
which can't be remember ed / /
/
Monday, October 03, 2005
if i had / this is what i would say /
& see / do these be come words
worth hiding
shall i / would i / tuck them
a way / deep / recesses of / what?
ah / not for your eyes / not for mine
yet the words / be come
are
insistant
light goes / oh it's always doing that
on / off / on again / it all ways rings
oh true / you say / yes / true
& i am fold ing laundry /
for jesus / once a gain
ah / the call ing / call ed
& the washer goes on full / christ
house is shaking / & is it any wonder
the whole damn thing doesn't just collapse
like the mind
is it any god damn wonder / / & wonder i do
the exchange is all ways fleet ing / here
& then gone / but i'm certain / thot is
all ways there / /
& it's an other one of those / late nite ramble
doesn't mean a thing
heart refuses to let / ah safe ty / some things just
can't be told / / but let's just say / i'm wait ing
& the dry er re mains on hyper / final lee / clunk
whole thing just
stops / / & i'm content to listen to / ah / hum
click / clothes roll / up in the dry er / / metal buttons
bang out / un rhythm
& i'm try ing to be / uh what's that word /
good / keep up on meals / supper for every one
good / keep up on fold ing / ah / fresh clothes
fold ed / ah tidy / / in the mean while / some rooms
official lee de clared / lego disaster / oiy / the pain
in my foot / mad lee / i sweep / build ing blocks in to
the corner / sweep paths / toss laundry in to piles / oh
so many piles / /
& i pray to morrow my house keep er to clean / / honest lee
i can't keep up / / just walk thru it / /
& see / there is a tender ness / an / all right ness
night lee / we sleep / toss / walk the house / share
a space of dreams / if only i could remember /
this is a time to move for ward / time to remember
those we love / hold true to that thot / time will tell
who loves who / / for now / / in visible / ah love
a cross / vista / verge / what is this cloud / i stand u pon
& i wish to waste in to / heat / yours /
it's the weight of you on / a gainst my back
/gone /breath / all sensiblity / you told me
once / you had to be in love / to be in love
happy makes happy / / then its okay / to
be next / / to you
& i'm think ing / en twine / wrap me up
just once / i could for give you for that
/ simple trans gress ion / like a hand against
a throat / a spoke / thin thread of / anger / / only / /
tender / how love should be / / if it could be / /
& i could be / yes / i am / content for love to come
when it does / for when he does / spine all ways
arch / up /
waist trembles
ah / pleasant /
pool against me / let the drown ing be gin
perhaps love will / kill
time /
like no thing be fore it / /
/
worth hiding
shall i / would i / tuck them
a way / deep / recesses of / what?
ah / not for your eyes / not for mine
yet the words / be come
are
insistant
light goes / oh it's always doing that
on / off / on again / it all ways rings
oh true / you say / yes / true
& i am fold ing laundry /
for jesus / once a gain
ah / the call ing / call ed
& the washer goes on full / christ
house is shaking / & is it any wonder
the whole damn thing doesn't just collapse
like the mind
is it any god damn wonder / / & wonder i do
the exchange is all ways fleet ing / here
& then gone / but i'm certain / thot is
all ways there / /
& it's an other one of those / late nite ramble
doesn't mean a thing
heart refuses to let / ah safe ty / some things just
can't be told / / but let's just say / i'm wait ing
& the dry er re mains on hyper / final lee / clunk
whole thing just
stops / / & i'm content to listen to / ah / hum
click / clothes roll / up in the dry er / / metal buttons
bang out / un rhythm
& i'm try ing to be / uh what's that word /
good / keep up on meals / supper for every one
good / keep up on fold ing / ah / fresh clothes
fold ed / ah tidy / / in the mean while / some rooms
official lee de clared / lego disaster / oiy / the pain
in my foot / mad lee / i sweep / build ing blocks in to
the corner / sweep paths / toss laundry in to piles / oh
so many piles / /
& i pray to morrow my house keep er to clean / / honest lee
i can't keep up / / just walk thru it / /
& see / there is a tender ness / an / all right ness
night lee / we sleep / toss / walk the house / share
a space of dreams / if only i could remember /
this is a time to move for ward / time to remember
those we love / hold true to that thot / time will tell
who loves who / / for now / / in visible / ah love
a cross / vista / verge / what is this cloud / i stand u pon
& i wish to waste in to / heat / yours /
it's the weight of you on / a gainst my back
/gone /breath / all sensiblity / you told me
once / you had to be in love / to be in love
happy makes happy / / then its okay / to
be next / / to you
& i'm think ing / en twine / wrap me up
just once / i could for give you for that
/ simple trans gress ion / like a hand against
a throat / a spoke / thin thread of / anger / / only / /
tender / how love should be / / if it could be / /
& i could be / yes / i am / content for love to come
when it does / for when he does / spine all ways
arch / up /
waist trembles
ah / pleasant /
pool against me / let the drown ing be gin
perhaps love will / kill
time /
like no thing be fore it / /
/
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